KaraDawlish

The more that I think about it, the more logical it seems that I move somewhere far away where the winter season doesn’t bring so much gloom and snow. As much sense as it makes, it’s still coming as a shock to me, because I’d never really properly imagined living anywhere outside of New York. I’d been so determined, for so many reasons, to head straight for that particular city. Though walking everywhere is a huge plus in my opinion, I don’t know if I could handle freezing outdoor New York winters. I’m leaning more towards heading west sometime in my young life to see how I like it instead.

We’ve been in this house since last September and we’re doing a giiiant clean out of the place since a lot of things are still left in boxes due to the extreme downsize. I’m so excited to turn the downstairs into an awesome room!!! It’s been a strange experience having two floors when I’m usually used to four. Extra productive day off since I’m too young to vote \m/ The weird things we’re finding that nobody remembered we had… BUT I CAN’T FIND THE WII ANYWHERE.

Somebody called the fire department on us last night. First bonfire I ever had here. Not very punk rock of them. I wasn’t even home when they came. Poor kids in my backyard :’]

The downgrade from super mega punk rock party house, to where I live now, is never quite going to settle in with me.

I’ve been in this house for a year now.

How odd.

There was this miraculous moment after eight months of living here where my bus was forty five minutes late and I finally bonded with my neighbors. We were the only kids who stuck it out and basically the only ones on the bus, but we stood there and talked and goofed and took turns running back to our houses grabbing food and such before it finally showed. ~~It was lovely~ ;D

Researching my house because there’s literally a ghost in it. Last night I was serious about the pie being missing, slightly kidding about the ghost… but then I remembered how fucking scared shitless of this place I was when we first moved here. Thought about how no one decided to purchase it for years before us, and the fact that I always tell my mom someone died in my bedroom because the vibe in here is AWFUL. It’s just dreadfully depressing in every way and creepy. I wouldn’t be surprised if some shit went down. Don’t know if I even want to get to the bottom of this.

I have this beautiful blank white wall and I’m thinking either one of three things is going to be painted on so far. Some 845 love, possibly the midhudson bridge. NYC. Or Deathly Hallows type things. Any other ideas I might not think of on my own?

RTT I moved and was so lazy that instead of figuring out what bus I was supposed to ride home I just walked every day? Yeah… :’]

I totally miss that.

Third house in three summers. Somebody needs to treat me like a third grader and have me write down my phone number and zip code a hundred times so I actually freaking memorize them. 

Whenever I’m around Riverbend, there’s nothing I want more than to go up to my front door and walk inside and crash on my bed and shower in my amazing bathroom and sit on the balcony outside. Find things exactly how I left them. I’m around that place and it seems like a fantasy land residing inside a snowglobe, the rest of the world around it put on hold. All my feelings from that time are somehow still lingering there and brought back whenever I’m around. It kills me that I can never walk in and have that place be mine anymore, and no more adventures await me. It’s not like a summer spot I can return to, it’s just a bunch of buildings I can stare at and reminisce about from the outside. Fuck summer. Love and adventure and leaving and coming home in the middle of the night and sleep overs and canadians and baton twirling in my teeny tiny patch of grass. jlutkuytuytyukt

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Just thinking about LeakyCon, vacation, when internet friends came to visit, and any point in this summer it wasn’t just Brandon and I, stresses me out. I get so anxious thinking back on it. I turned sixteen in June, and this probably should have been the best year of my life with all the experiences I was handed on a damn silver platter. It was magnificent. But with my entire life changing during all these trips, and new places and faces, I was petrified through out it all. of everyone and everything. too much to have any fun or relax enough tofully enjoy anything. It was too much at once. I needed to hide in my shell and make this transition alone, but I never ever got to do that. I was constantly doing the opposite. He was the only person I felt okay around. at all. I love thinking back to June. Before everything really collapsed. It brings me back to a safe place right before I moved and left my dad and old life behind. Like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Our best friend month. Sometimes I wish we never became more than that, but it seems impossible for all of that not to have happened. i feel like once June rolls around again, everything is somehow going to be okay. A year.

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MY KITCHEN IS SO PRETTTYYY.

I came home and the creepiest group of men yet was here, so I didn’t even notice It was done until now. Damn perfection- It’s going to be so much more fun to cook.