I’m sitting here with a completely clear mind, and I’m going to try and let this all out at once.
Alls I wanted was truth. To admit everything to you and learn what’s actually happened, but you tell so many different stories it’s impossible to know which is real. You don’t know how to be honest, so I don’t hold it against you that I’m not an exception. You think I should trust you despite all you’ve done, but I know you’d go as far as lying to me after, because you were incapable of truth up until the very last second. I can’t hang around to watch you do everything I wouldn’t have wanted you to. I don’t want to hear about it, and I don’t want to talk to you and ignore the fact that it’s happening either. I’d be sorry that you’re stuck with them over me, but if that’s who you really need in your life, who you choose, I wasn’t ever meant to be there in the first place. You seem like you’ve grown so much since I met you, but we were both repressing things because we wanted eachother. You went from all the feelings in the world, to this watered down version of yourself. I wanted things under control, and they calmed down in a sense, but it also felt like I could actively feel you loving me less. You were beaten to the point that I was, where you couldn’t even give it your all. Now we can accept our differences and move on in opposite directions. I know you’ll be okay, but still sorry to leave you in the manor that I did. Mostly, I’m sorry that you honestly think you’re better than him. You’re not. So don’t ever put yourself on a pedastal after what you did to him, and how both of you acted towards this. Think about that and tell me you’re still a better man.
